Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
