M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
