I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
we're so committed to being not committed
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
