I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
