Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
