Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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