When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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