He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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