the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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