I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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