And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
