I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
