she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
