did you get engaged???
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
