I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
