i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
