I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize