no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
