In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
