do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
