remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
