we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Randomize
