3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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