He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
