My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
