i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
