Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
