Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
