I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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