get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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