Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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