i don't like sucking hair
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
