STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
