I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
