i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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