Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
