drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
