In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
