two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
