even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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