matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
