He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize