i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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