How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
