Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
