He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
