thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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