She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
