Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
