elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize