You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
