If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
