R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize