So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Couch. On fire.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
