I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize