Umm I'm too high to move.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
