so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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