Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
