He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Did I show you my penis last night?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
