he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
